Up to 93% of communication is non verbal and much of this is body language. Knowing how to read body language can mean that you don’t pick up the wrong signals, or miss the silent messages that someone really likes you!

Luckily body language can be very easy to learn, which is a good thing, as it is possibly one of the most important languages that you can learn. You will probably recognize many of the following examples from your own behavior, or from those close to you. Once you know how to read these signs from people around you, you’ll get a good idea of the workings of their minds and thought processes.

Let’s say you are out on a date and want to take things further. Before you do so, you need to know if the other person is interested. Look out for these tell tale signs and you will never be left guessing again!

Male body language:

If a man is showing an interest he will appear to be standing taller, by puffing up his chest and pulling in his tummy. You may see him correcting his appearance, straightening his tie (if he is wearing one) and generally preening himself. A sure sign that he is interested is hooking his thumbs in his belt. This subconsciously highlights his genital region and says that he is virile!

Watch out for body positioning. If he turns his body towards you it shows that he is interested, particularly if either of his feet are pointing towards you.

If he is standing with his hands on his hips, he is appearing to make himself bigger and ready to take things further.

The eyes are a great giveaway and are often referred to as the ‘window to the soul’. When someone is holding their gaze, even for a fraction of a second longer than is necessary, especially when combined with dilated pupils, it is a sure sign that you are in luck! A man’s intimate gaze is generally quite obvious. If his eye movements follow a triangle shaped pattern (that is eye to eye, down to the mouth, the rest of the body, and then back up to the eyes again) is another giveaway that he likes you.

Female body language:

Women generally display similar preening and grooming characteristics to men, but there are other signals to look out for which show that they are expressing in interest in the person they’re talking to.

One such sign is the ‘head toss’, this can be done by women with both long and short hair and is used to capture someone’s attention by revealing their neck. Exposed wrists can also be a sign of interest, as can showing the palms of her hands while talking to you. An open palm is often seen as a sign of openness and sincerity.

As with male body language, if her foot or knee is pointing towards you (especially if her legs are crossed) this gives a clear sign of interest. Crossed legs are also seen as being a relaxed informal position. If she lets the shoe from her top leg slip off her foot and then starts playing with it – this is often seen as a sign of interest.

Don’t forget to look out for the eyes, as women are excellent at using the intimate gaze – that is holding your gaze for a moment longer than normal, and following the triangle formation. (Eye to eye, down to the mouth, followed by the rest of the body and then back up to the eyes again). This movement is known as ‘eyeing someone up’.

Another good sign of attraction is if she is coiling her hair around her finger and tilting her head whilst talking to you. And don’t forget to look out for that warm natural smile!

Here are a few dating guidelines that you can follow:

- When you are comfortable, introduce your date to your son as a “new friend.” Friendship is not only the foundation of a viable marriage, but something your child understands! All new friendships do not continue, but good ones evolve. You cannot know the future, so just stay with the present.

- First, there is no magic time frame for an introduction. After all, it is important that your son realizes that you need friends — males and females that are your own age. Just as your son has his preschool friends, he will understand that you need adult friendships, too. It is not a matter of competition, so jealousy is lessened from the start.

- Second, maintain appropriate boundaries during the dating process in order to protect your child from primary attachment to someone who may just be passing through. It is not the specific amount of time, but the nature of the commitment that evolves between you and a boyfriend that should determine the relationship between your child and a significant other.

- Keep your dating life relatively separate from your family life until you know someone well enough to feel they would be a good friend to your son. Start off slowly with limited activities like going to the zoo or having a picnic. Do not assign parental responsibilities to a boyfriend. Wait until there is a clear commitment to the relationship and potential for marriage before considering deepening the involvement with your son.

- Finally, answer your child’s questions as honestly as possible. For example, one single mother had been dating a man for six months. The relationship had become a committed boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. The boyfriend became acquainted with her three-year-old son and they liked each other. They had been to the zoo and enjoyed contact around reading books and having breakfast together. One day, when her son wanted to play his educational computer game between bites, his mother was talking to him about the importance of sitting down to dinner together. She told him that family members are special to one another and having dinner together was a special time to be together in families. He took this opportunity to ask her if her boyfriend was a part of their family. She said “no,” he was a good family friend.

- This mom’s answer clarifies boundaries. She refrained from setting up false expectations by blurring the line between friendship and family, even though her son and boyfriend were clearly developing affection for one another. When, and if, her boyfriend and she do commit to marriage, he would then be invited into the family with responsibilities and expectations for full membership!

- Of course friendships are important, but it is important that you protect your child from getting overly involved with men who may appear as caring parental figures to a child only to disappear later. When in doubt, err on the side of caution.

How do I tell my boyfriend that he’s cheap? He’s great in every other way, but his inability to spend a buck is really a bummer.

Ans: Here is how to handle this situation:

According to an informal poll (40 friends and friends-of-friends), women would rather date a man who’s a so-so kisser than one who’s cheap! But, since you say he’s got redeeming qualities, let’s work on taming his Scrooge-like tendencies rather than discussing tactics to hook you up with a sugar daddy.

Your worst tactic is to put him on the defensive. In other words, don’t start out by calling him cheap or whining that he holds onto his money more tightly than Donald Trump in a pre-nuptial agreement. Start by saying how much you care about him and what a great person he is (yes, it’s tiresome, but flattery really smoothes the way). Then, launch into a general discussion on money. Tell him how your money views and values were shaped. (For example, as a child, were you given an allowance that you could spend on anything that struck your fancy, or did you have to work at part-time jobs to afford clothes and makeup?) Ask him to share his money persona with you. Where did his fears about spending come from? Were his parents unemployed for long stretches of time? Remember, money can be tied to his feelings of security or self-worth. Gently let him know that his reluctance to spend money on you makes you feel he doesn’t value you. End by suggesting a compromise: You cook him dinner and rent a movie three dates in a row, then he takes you out somewhere wonderful.

If, despite his innate cheapness, he’s open to compromise, you’ve got a keeper. A man who wants to please his partner is better than money in the bank. Well, almost.

2. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

4. Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Get rid of your cat.

6. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

8. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.

9. You have too many shoes.

10. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

11. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it’s up, put it down.

12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

14. “Yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers.

15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Sunday = sports.

18. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap-opera guys.

19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

20. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

21. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done — not both.

23. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

24. You have enough clothes.

25. Nothing says “I love you” like sex.

You’ve already blown your opportunity. If you really don’t trust his taste, you shouldn’t have told him you did. Now you want to manipulate him, right? It’s fair to point out things you like in store windows and magazines and ask whether he thinks they’re pretty too. Since this is a relatively new relationship, it’s not really appropriate to expect costly jewels. You might want to reflect on what your expectations of this fellow are and whether they’re realistic.

Why don’t you give the guy a break and wait and see what happens? You might be pleasantly surprised. Remember that the only meaningful gifts we have to give are our time and attention. If they translate into jewels, great. But don’t discard the attributes that give the relationship real value.

For starters, a part of the guy will wonder if you’ve called him up because you want to have sex with him. Guys are generally hoping to have sex whenever they go on a date, so this probably won’t mean he’ll behave any different, but you might want to set some limits early on. (Unless that is why you called him.)

Also, be prepared for lots of dating gray areas: Who’ll drive? Who’ll pay? Who’ll decide where to go? The impetus is generally on the guy to control the flow of events on a date, but since you initiated things, how far will the initiative extend? Ideally, this will be part of the fun, but it can lead to baffled expectations on both sides.

Another thing to consider is something guys have been dealing with since time began: The answer might be no.

What do you do with “decades of bad dates,” a sense of humor and some serious frustration with the opposite sex? If you’re Muara Johnston and Erica Dankoff, you pour out your feelings into dozens of hilarious — but never mailed — letters to your exes and include ‘em all in a new book called Kiss-Off Letters to Men. If you’re having trouble getting through a dating disaster of your own, check out two of their sassiest suggestions for letter therapy that works.

Dear Uncultured Slob,

After the movie last night I asked your opinion and your very intellectual response was “it sucked.” I hardly think that’s an appropriate review for Casablanca. Few good movies contain martial arts, androids, or Pamela Anderson. It seems to me a little more thought could have gone into your answer. Then again, it was par for the course. Every time we attend any cultural event or discuss literature, poetry, or art your response is the same. Just a note for you: On the list of the worlds’ great museums you won’t find the National Football League Hall of Fame.

I now realize you don’t appreciate art because you just don’t get it. That’s okay: I’d be happy to enlighten you. But your inability to confess your ignorance is even more annoying than the machismo you think you project. You just sound stupid. Then again, maybe you are.

I can recommend some books on aesthetics or even a community college course, but the first step to your cultural awakening is admitting you have no class.

Off to the ballet,